Noun – A strong feeling of affection.
Synonyms – Deep affection, warmth, fondness, endearment.
Love, of any kind is something not to be taken for granted. It will come when you least expect it, when you aren’t even looking for it and hit you in the face like a brick.
In October 2015, I was a mess. I was nervous, I felt pressured to find a job and get myself out of the house. And that’s what I did. I blagged my way through the interview process and got myself a job. Absolute tekkers passing that stage considering I was a bashful wreck in real life. I had a training day about four days after my interview and I remember standing in Spinningfields, feeling shook because I didn’t know anybody who was going to be there. I could see a big group of people waiting for the training to start, and something so social and face to face was a big no no for me at the time. I bit the bullet and forced myself through the door. I avoided eye contact with the other new staff members and said about four words all day. There were a few people who intimidated me during the training. And anybody who knows me now will not believe me. But I wasn’t myself at this point. Anyway, we were signing out and I literally let everybody cut in front of me because i didn’t want to get in anybodies way. There were like six of us left and I had supposed to be one of the first people to sign out. I was so sure I’d be the last to leave, until I saw the girl who had just signed flourish the sheet in front of my face. This girl who I’d never met before had seen that I’d been waiting and took it upon herself to make sure I that I was next.
About a week later, I had my first shift and I barely made it through. I got everything wrong and spent every second thinking I was going to get sacked. The old staff were like sharks circling their pray when it came to us new staff. I was so drained after the shift that I had to sit myself down on the wall outside and let myself breathe and wind down. I was looking dead pan at the ground but I could see somebody in my peripheral sit down next to me on the wall. I sat up and looked to see who it was. It was the girl from induction who gave me the sign out sheet. I didn’t know her name, so I was going to just look back at the floor but she looked upset. I asked how her shift was, assuming it was her first too. We talked and ranted about how stressed and scared we were. I remember her reenacting something from her shift and it was the first time for ages that I’d laughed so much that I had to cover my face with my hand, to cover my ugly cackle. I waited with her until her parents picked her up and she said she was going to hand in her notice. Thank god she didn’t.
We weren’t put on the same position in the first few weeks after so I didn’t really see her. It was only on our first staff outing to Revolution that I learned her name. Georgia. At this point she didn’t drink, but she didn’t need to. Georgia was LIT. And that was the night that I opened an account at the bank of GG. She lent me a fiver to get home and thats when I knew she was a keeper.
Fast forward a month and everything was different for me.
I looked forward to going into work. Me, Georgia and some others from work would go to The Grapes or to The Paramount for a drink. I wasn’t nervous, I wasn’t a wreck. I was Jack again.
Georgia had become my best work colleague, we would sometimes meet before work and would always give each other the run down and gossip after our shifts. We’d sit on that same wall that we did after our first shift and chat absolutely heinous, broken biscuits to each other. We started to go for brunch and out for tea. We had a constant string of text messages and phone calls. Our conversations would span from full heartfelt DMC to absolute profanity and iconic throwback phrases and references. We became a part of a friendship group and evolved into social butterflies.
I remember Georgia telling me that when we spoke after our first shift, she thought that I was too shy and that she felt like she needed to take me under her wing. She also said that she wasn’t expecting me and my personality to be what it is (completely insane, painstakingly sarcastic and so extra). She was shook. She was Shooka Khan.
We became known as quite the double act in work, mainly because we did everything together. It got to a point where if we arrived at a party separately instead of together, we got questioned about what had happened and why we were fighting. When in reality I had decided to have a nap before going to the party. Then we found our angel Lauren Cordy and Sass Queens Brunch club was born. Name a more iconic trio, I’ll wait.
I have had so many amazing memories and stories to tell since meeting Georgia. Pitta, Beecham Bar when we were crying and I couldn’t breathe, laughing so loud whilst on shift with each other and realising that was why we were never paired up, Glassesgate at Hula! I’m actually cackling thinking about them.
And now I’m going to stop writing in blog format and speak directly to the rat bag herself.
Nobody has done more for me in the last year than you have. You skull dragged me out of my shell and allowed this sarcastic, foul mouthed monster to be reborn. You were always at reaching distance if I needed anything, always game to go out to lunch (Big factor of our friendship) and always supportive of me. I know more than anybody how difficult I can be at the best of times, but you stuck it out like a trooper. Kudos. You are undoubtably the most genuine person I have ever met. A work colleague, a partner in crime, a best friend. A guardian angel. I was truly blessed when that random girl handed me the sign out sheet. Sometimes when I think about you I just want to smash your face in because I can’t express how important you are and so I’d rather just have a scrap. I do not feel worthy of your friendship. I know that friendships have been a big part of your journey, some bad experiences have left you wary and the fact that even after everything in your past, you allowed yourself to form a friendship with me. To give so much of yourself and share your past experiences, your daily struggles (AND THE 1975) with me is so important. I know others have taken you for granted and I am always petrified that you think that I do too. I don’t want you to ever think that I am capable of leaving you and this friendship behind. If we were in the Wizarding world, I’d make the unbreakable vow to you. To the end of the earth, to hell and back. Ride or die.
Georgia Gagan you have my heart.
I have seen you overcome so much and even when you swore that you didn’t think it could get better, you still kept climbing. I have seen you burst into flames and rise from the ashes like a beautiful, blorange Phoenix. And now you’re leaving to start this new chapter of your life and I’m so sad that we won’t share a city anymore. I’m also so excited for you and whats next to come! Grab London by the tits, tickle it’s areola and don’t you dare forget about me now that you’re Miss Metropolitan. Trust and believe that the Virgin Pendolino is gonna be my new uber to come and inject a much needed dose of 0161 into your life.
“How lucky am I, to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” – Winnie the pooh.
This isn’t goodbye forever, just TTFN!
Georgie Googan may have passed on to the afterlife but Georgia Marie Gagan still reigns and she’s ready to slay bitch.
Memoirs of a Gagan is now gonna be my new bible so please don’t lose the blogging bug.
I gave you the dramatic good bye today when I chased you through town in the rain because our first goodbye wasn’t good enough. And I managed to save my tears until a 1975 song came on shuffle on the bus home. Bet I looked like a dickhead, sobbing on the number 8, trying to blend it.
“She’s got two-tone everything, way too intelligent
Moving but she just can’t move.” – She Way Out, The 1975.
Except you ARE moving, you’re finally following your dream and hopefully I’ll be heading down south soon myself to continue mine. But until then I’m just going to hope that distance makes the heart grow fonder.
“Before you go, please turn the big light off.” – I like it when you sleep, for you are so beautiful yet so unaware of it, The 1975.
I love you.